Nothing but Mammals
by Sleepwalker418
Summary: Fang and Max are alone at Dr, Martinez's house one day. But what does Max catch Fang doing that can change everything? Faxness. Based on the song Bad Touch or as everyone else knows it: Ain't nothing but Mammals by Bloodhound Gang. ALTERNATE ENDING UP!
1. Chapter 1

**Me: As soon as I heard this song, I had to write a fic on it. Yeah, yeah, I'll update The Fallen Angels, but this first. I don't own Maximum Ride nor this song.**

**Bad Touch**

Max's POV

We were at Mom's house just resting and relaxing. Well, _I_ was. The younger ones of the Flock, Iggy, Ella, and Mom had gone to the carnival. They said I needed a break and made me stay here, while Fang had insisted he stay here.

So, here I was, innocently watching TV when all of a sudden, pumping music filled the house. I jumped up and tensed. Having going through hell in recent months can do this to you. It could be a new brainwashing technique done by the School to kidnap me and Fang.

_Fang, _my mind reminded me. I ran down the hall to the room where he had been holed up in for the last few hours and the door was open a crack. I peaked through cautiously and saw Fang dancing. My jaw dropped as he started singing along to the song.

_Sweat baby, sweat baby,_

_Sex is a Texas drought,_

And what the hell would he know about _That_?

_Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about_

If Prince sung about kicking Eraser butt than yeah, sure.

_So put your hands down my pants_

_And I bet you'll feel nuts_

Oh God, he did NOT just sing that.

_Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up_

At that moment Fang did two thumbs up. It's at these times that I wished I wasn't a mutant hybrid runaway and had a camera.

_You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds_

_I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns_

Fang doesn't even like his hash browns with stuff on it.

_Come quicker than FedEx never reach the apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined_

_To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time_

I would drag him up anyways even if I wasn't _inclined_.

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

Um...correction...

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

Whoa, buddy.

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals _

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

All this time I had been unconsciously opening the door wider and wider, so Fang now faced and looked directly at me with his dark eyes. _Uh-oh, I'm caught._

But instead of the usual Fang reaction being him exploding at me about respecting his privacy or him flying out the nearest window in embarrassment, he did a wide unholy grin that made me go uneasy and he pulled me in and started dancing around me. _Oh crap._

_Love _

_The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket_

_Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it_

_Hieroglyphics, Let me the Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas_

EXCUSE ME?!

_But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"_

_So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship_

_Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip_

_So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll love it just like Lyle_

Who the heck is Lyle?

_And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files_

Hate to be the one to break it to you Fang but they don't show X-Files on T.V. anymore, I wanted to say, but I was too shocked and tongue-tied as Fang danced around me grabbing, spinning and/or gripping me every few seconds.

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals _

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

"Um...Fang?" I started but as I started to say something he nuzzled into my neck pressing me against him and sung the rest making me go crazy.

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

He looked at me eyes unreadable and kissed me hard on the mouth and the song faded into the background. We continued until it became apparent that we really needed to breath.

We broke away, gasping for air the whole time locked into each others eyes.

"I love you Max," Fang said. My eyes widened in shock. Fang loves me? And the word tumbled out before I could think.

"I love you too, Fang," I said. And it felt so _right_ saying it to him. He smiled widely, lighting up the area and kissed me. I sunk into it, enjoying his warmth.

"You know Fang," I said when we finally broke apart. He looked at me. "We _are_ more than mammals." He frowned.

"Oh yeah," he said. "Must've forgotten that."

**Me: Wow, Fang. Anyways to all of my readers, review please:)**


	2. Alternate Ending

**Me: Alright, accidental two shot, where the first chapter has a more romantic ending while this one...well...you'll see. Most of the place where the song was is the same, the ending...he he...**

**Bad Touch**

Max's POV

We were at Mom's house just resting and relaxing. Well, _I_ was. The younger ones of the Flock, Iggy, Ella, and Mom had gone to the carnival. They said I needed a break and made me stay here, while Fang had insisted he stay here.

So, here I was, innocently watching TV when all of a sudden, pumping music filled the house. I jumped up and tensed. Having going through hell in recent months can do this to you. It could be a new brainwashing technique done by the School to kidnap me and Fang.

_Fang, _my mind reminded me. I ran down the hall to the room where he had been holed up in for the last few hours and the door was open a crack. I peaked through cautiously and saw Fang dancing. My jaw dropped as he started singing along to the song.

_Sweat baby, sweat baby,_

_Sex is a Texas drought,_

And what the hell would he know about _That_?

_Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about_

If Prince sung about kicking Eraser butt than yeah, sure.

_So put your hands down my pants_

_And I bet you'll feel nuts_

Oh God, he did NOT just sing that.

_Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up_

At that moment Fang did two thumbs up. It's at these times that I wished I wasn't a mutant hybrid runaway and had a camera.

_You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds_

_I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns_

Fang doesn't even like his hash browns with stuff on it.

_Come quicker than FedEx never reach the apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined_

_To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time_

I would drag him up anyways even if I wasn't _inclined_.

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

Um...correction...

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

Whoa, buddy. He even had thrown in some pelvic thrusts there...

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals _

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

All this time I had been unconsciously opening the door wider and wider, so Fang now faced and looked directly at me with his dark eyes. _Uh-oh, I'm caught._

But instead of the usual Fang reaction being him exploding at me about respecting his privacy or him flying out the nearest window in embarrassment, he did a wide unholy grin that made me go uneasy and he pulled me in, grabbed my waist, and started dancing around me. _Oh crap._

_Love _

_The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket_

_Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it_

_Hieroglyphics, Let me the Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas_

EXCUSE ME?!

_But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"_

_So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship_

_Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip_

_So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll love it just like Lyle_

Who the heck is Lyle?

_And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files_

Hate to be the one to break it to you Fang but they don't show X-Files on T.V. anymore, I wanted to say, but I was too shocked and tongue-tied as Fang danced around me grabbing, spinning and/or gripping me every few seconds.

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals _

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

"Um...Fang?" I started but as I started to say something he nuzzled into my neck pressing me against him and sung the rest making me want to go crazy.

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Do it again now_

_You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel_

_Gettin' horny now_

The music faded and Fang sat down at the edge of the bed breathing hard. I stared at him amazed and decided to voice my concerns.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked. He shrugged , slowly got up, took off his black shirt and threw it to the side. I stared at him as he went to the stereo and pressed the rewind button.

"Want to do that again?" He asked.

**Me: Okay so...which ending do you like better? Or do you like both. Tell me in your review:)**


End file.
